A "Self-Portrait" in Books

My birthday was this week, and to celebrate it, here are 45 books I have loved during the past 45 years.

Because I'm limiting this list to books that are available in English, I've had to leave out a lot of my Finnish favourites, and so the "self-portrait" is not quite accurate. But it's a fair glimpse into my reading history and what sort of books appeal to me.

An another caveat: I didn't include the Holy Bible in this list. It's the book I read the most, but it's really in a category of its own.

Ten favourites from my childhood 

 A.A. Milne: Winnie-the-Pooh

Elisabeth Beresford: The Wombles

Kenneth Grahame: Wind in the Willows

Eleanor Estes: The Moffats

Astrid Lindgren: Vi På Saltkråkan (Seacrow Island)

Enid Blyton: the Adventure series

Laura Ingalls Wilder: Little House in the Big Woods (and the series)

L.M.Montgomery: Rilla of Ingleside

L.M. Alcott: An Old-Fashioned Girl

James Aldridge: The Marvellous Mongolian

The last one gets to represent my horse phase. Most of the horse books I devoured were by Finnish or Swedish authors, probably not available in English.

From teen years and early twenties

Mary Stolz: By the Highway Home

John Steinbeck: Travels with Charley

J.R.R. Tolkien: Lord of the Rings

Douglas Adams: The Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy

Fynn: Mister God, This is Anna

It was difficult to think back to those years. I know I read a lot, but what did I enjoy the most? I must have forgotten many good books, but if I remember a book as a significant reading experience about thirty years later, it must have been important.

Jane Austen - and other fiction favourites from the last two decades

Jane Austen: Persuasion

Jane Austen: Pride and Prejudice

Jane Austen: Mansfield Park

Jane Austen: Northanger Abbey

Jane Austen: Sense and Sensibility

Jane Austen: Emma

Elizabeth Gaskell: Cranford

Barbara Pym: Excellent Women

Josephine Tey: The Daughter of Time

Dorothy L. Sayers: Gaudy Night

C.S. Lewis: The Screwtape Letters

Adrian Plass: The Sacred Diary of of Adrian Plass Aged 37 3/4 (and the entire series)

Adrian Plass: Stress Family Robinson (and its sequel, The Birthday Party)

Jeff Lucas: Helen Sloane's Diary (and its sequel, Up Close and Personal)

Robinson, Marilynne: Gilead


For all other authors, just one favourite book (or series) has to represent them. But Jane Austen and Adrian Plass are special.

A bunch of biographies and other Christian non-fiction

Sheldon Vanauken: A Severe Mercy

Joni Eareckson: Joni

Corrie ten Boom: The Hiding Place

Norman Grubb: Rees Howells: Intercessor

Brother Andrew: God's Smuggler

Elisabeth Elliot: Through Gates of Splendour

J. Gunnar Olson: Business Unlimited

Nick Vujicic: Life without Limits

Eric Metaxas: Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyt, Prophet, Spy

Karen Swallow Prior: Fierce Convictions

C.S. Lewis: Mere Christianity

John White: The Fight

Loren Cunningham: Making Jesus Lord

Jennifer Saake: Hannah's Hope

Tim Kimmel: Grace-Based Parenting

The last category was a hard one to select and limit. I've read so much. I tried to pick those books that meant a lot to me at the time I read them and that have stayed with me a long time after I read them; the ones I'd recommend and buy as presents to others etc. But I could have added many others, too. (And again it's not the full picture, because many influential books have been by authors whose works have not been translated into English.)

Weekend Gratitude

The midweek came and went in a flurry of activity. Getting a Quick Lit post out took all the time I could put into blogging.

I haven't forgotten to be thankful, I just haven't had time to write about it.

Some random thoughts now, late on Saturday evening, as Junior is in bed and my husband is out running in the woods.

1. I'm thankful for things accomplished.

Such as almost all of our Christmas shopping.

2. As well as for things still in process.

We baked the parts of our gluten-free gingerbread "house" today. Tomorrow, on to the adventure of assembling it. I might post a picture when it's done. Even if it's not Pinterest Pretty and Perfect.

3. We'll be sending out a really pretty Christmas card.

Yes. The verb tense is correct: cards are another thing still in process. The picture (a photo compilation by my husband) is beautiful. I've written most of the envelopes. Some assembly still required. But hey, we're not quite ridiculously late yet. Just late. :) Another little project for tomorrow...

4. Relationships.

Family, friends. 

I've been so exhausted mentally that I've sometimes felt like suggesting "let's just cancel Christmas altogether, shall we?" 

But when I pause to think about it, Christmas is more about the relationships than about the outward trappings and traditions. Why do we bake stuff, and give presents? To show love. Why do we drive for hours? To see the people we care about, face to face. Send cards? To connect with the people who get them. 

I can do all that's really necessary for the sake of the relationships - not for the sake of some tradition. I'm thankful for those relationships and I want to value them. With actions, too.

5. Home comforts.

I have a home. With a roof and walls and windows and doors. Secure.

No one is going to tell me I don't belong here.

What a privilege it is to have a home.

And what made me think of it:

6. I've read this book.

(Or actually just finished it - I started it weeks ago already.)

It sort of ties in with Lila - the issues of living without a fixed abode, and the feelings of shame, stigma and outsiderness that go with it.

The difference: Charlie Carroll took on the experience voluntarily, in order to write about it, and it's contemporary Britain.

It's not the fault of the book that it took me weeks to finish it - I've had less reading time than before, and I was too keen to read Lila...

7. Not only do I have a home, I have a bed.

And I can go and sleep in it.

So why not do it. Like, now. :)

Midweek Gratitude

I was meaning to write this before the workload descends on me today. Then, my computer decided to shut itself down in the middle of installing updates. Now that I have a moment between tasks, here goes - and the number one item is:

1. The computer is working again...

A couple of reboots and a checkdisk later, all the updates have been installed and we're up and working again.

2. This book:

Marilynne Robinson: Lila

As soon as I saw this on the library's list of new releases, I put a request on it.

Now I've got it. Can't immerse myself in it quite the way I'd wish, but I'm enjoying it slowly.

And I'm thinking I really need to re-read Gilead, too.

Which brings me to:

3. Our libraries

We carried another load home yesterday. (We did return a bagful of titles, too.) I love the system. The online database, where I can search and request titles and renew loans. The libraries, where the staff works hard to keep up the services despite funding cuts.

4. Walking

Walking home with the library books, I remembered what it was like a year ago. The rehab. The infection. Learning to walk without crutches, again and again.

It's wonderful how well the ankle has recovered. Now, I can walk wherever I want to. As briskly as I want to. What a privilege.

5. Our car

Looking at last year's posts reminds me to be thankful of this, too. Our fairly new-to-us car passed its yearly inspection last week. Only a year ago, the old car was totalled, we were thankful for getting to borrow a car from friends, and were beginning to look for a new one. This new one has been such a blessing.

6. Weekend baking

The smell of the gingerbread we baked on Saturday still lingers. (Probably comes from the tin where we keep the gingerbread. We made such a big batch that it'll last us several weeks.) Looking forward to making something next weekend, too. And the weekend after that, God willing, will be dedicated to gluten-free baking, including our yearly gluten-free gingerbread house.

7. Lights in darkness

Going towards winter solstice, the daylight hours are getting fewer. But yesterday, there was some sunshine. In the dark hours, there are lights. Streetlights. Lamps. Candles.

And the Light that shines over the darkness and cannot be overcome.

Regarding that song: I don't get the lyrics 100%. What does "you're the healing that lights the way back home" mean? But I like the chorus, and something in the intro gives me goosebumps every time. (Well, I was a teen in the 1980's. I guess this reminds me of those days... the combination of the electric guitars' sound and the beat?)

Midweek thanks - 7 random reasons for being thankful

In Finnish, Wednesday is keskiviikko, i.e. middle of the week. And it alliterates nicely with the word for thank you: kiitos.

Kiitoskeskiviikko - Thanksgiving Wednesday.

I hope to make this some kind of a tradition for myself: to pause for a while in the middle of the week and give thanks for something before the avalanche of things-to-do comes my way again. Just random thoughts.

1. My Mother-in-Law.

My Mother-in-Law is wonderful. She must be one of the best MILs in the world. She's perhaps the most tactful person I know. She's also incredibly helpful, kind, sensible... and she loves reading. The kind of woman I wish I could be 20-some years from now. Lord bless her.(We just celebrated her 70th birthday.)

2. Slow mornings

One of the things I love about homeschooling is that I don't have to hustle us out of the door in the morning. At this time of year, my son and I are not waking up bright and early. (Even though we do get up literally at the crack of dawn, at latest - you see, the sun rises after 8.30 AM on these latitudes...) When I wake up my son, we have a morning snuggle time. And every morning, I think, "This won't last forever." I hope my son will remember at least some of these times. Of the love we speak to one another via hugs and time spent together.

3. The birds outside my window

Our flat is on the 4th floor, and our building is on top of a hill. The tops of pine trees are pretty much on the same level as our windows. The birds and the squirrels that come to the trees - as well as the trees themselves - are such a joy to look at.

4. Coffee. Enough said.

5. New challenges

I have new work responsibilities and that means a steep learning curve. At times, I feel stressed. At the same time, I know I can learn this. God created me with a systematic bent that helps me to handle these new tasks. At some point, it will be routine.

6. This book

When my new tasks combined with all the other responsibilities in my life seemed overwhelming, I took up this book to read. 

For one thing, it's a good book. This is a short history of Finns working with the Red Cross in various crises in the world, written by a journalist who has been reporting news stories from many of those same crises. So, lots of exciting stories, and plenty of facts and photographs.

And moreover, reading about doctors and nurses working in the middle of famine, war and natural catastrophes puts my computer woes and messy house into perspective. Their work is a lot more stressful than mine. I remain thankful that there are people in this world capable and willing to do what they are doing. The name of the book is Quiet Helpers. They go. They do what needs to be done. And they don't make a big deal out of it.

7. Advent

"The holiday season" easily begins to look like an extended to-do-list. But it's good sometimes to pause and think what, exactly, we are celebrating here.

And what we're celebrating just takes my breath away.

In memoriam MS Estonia

This blog is mostly about books, but occasionally I just want to write some personal musings. Do a spot of writing things out of my system. This is one of those.

It has been 20 years since the MS Estonia disaster.

If you don't live somewhere around the Baltic Sea, I won't be surprised if you have never heard of this shipwreck - especially if you're under thirty - or just don't remember it any more. But around here, it's still synonymous with devastation.

It was a big disaster. Over 850 people lost their lives as MS Estonia sank. Most of them were Swedish and Estonian. Many of those who managed to get away from the sinking ship died in the stormy, freezing cold sea.

There weren't so many Finns on the ship, which was en route from Tallinn to Stockholm. I had no personal connection to the tragedy. But I remember how it shocked me, as it shocked all the Finns I knew. I think we all felt to some degree 'it could just as well have been me.' Travelling on the Baltic sea in a big cruise ferry, whether for work or leisure, was such a normal thing to do - as it still is.

Estonia is a small country. In the years after the disaster, whenever I was in Estonia and the MS Estonia tragedy was spoken of, it seemed to me that everyone had some kind of personal connection. If it wasn't an immediate family member or relative, there was a connection through a neighbour, a colleague, a schoolmate, a friend of a friend - someone they knew, in some way or another, had been on the ship, died or survived.

In the spring of 1998, when the film Titanic was released in this part of the world, I was in Estonia. We went to see it. The cinema in Tartu was old - my most vivid memory of the place is the wooden folding seat. Yes, wooden. It got a bit uncomfortable during the 3+ hours of the film. (I remember thinking 'just sink already' as DiCaprio and Winslet seemed to be endlessly running along the ship's corridors.)

But what was making me even more uncomfortable than my seat was the consciousness that sitting all around me were Estonians who were likely to have some kind of personal connections to a more recent shipwreck tragedy. It was less than four years since MS Estonia.

In the dark cinema, I wondered: how many others here are remembering MS Estonia, too? I'm sorry to say I did not feel much for the leading couple of the film. I felt more for the ordinary people trapped in their cheap cabins far down in the ship, like the Irish mother and her little children. The people who had no chance of saving themselves. Like so many on MS Estonia. Asleep in the middle of the night, when suddenly everything turns around and you don't have time to get out anymore. I felt almost sick in the cinema, trying not to imagine what happens to the people inside a passenger ship that sinks. What would I feel if it was myself and my family trapped in there?

I haven't wanted to watch Titanic since.

We still travel on these cruise ferries, more reminiscent of floating cities than means of transport. Usually, we do not worry that a disaster might strike again - no, not us. This huge, beautiful modern thing could not possibly sink, right? Security and safety measures have improved a lot since (and because of) the MS Estonia disaster. People are doing their best to keep these kinds of accidents from ever happening again.

And yet there are shipwrecks like the Costa Concordia cruise ship in Italy or the ferry MV Sewol in South Korea. People still die at sea - people who were only going for a leisure trip, or people who were only doing their jobs.

I may forget the film Titanic, but I hope to never forget RMS Titanic, or MS Estonia - the 'Titanic' of the Baltic Sea - for that matter. 

I hope to never forget that we cannot take any day of our lives for granted. Whether we go out to sea or stay at home. 

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, 

and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.”

Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. 

You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.

Instead, you ought to say, 

“If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.”

James 4:13-15